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Eyes up, heart open

Carla Ten Eyck

six years ago today

 

There is something about an anniversary  that sometimes overshadows everything. Maybe it’s the fact that you know it’s coming, and that you think you are supposed to feel one way or another- depending on if it’a happy or sad anniversary. Dodie and I talk about this a lot and both get a little irritated about the pressure that surrounds the ‘anniversary.’

At exactly 1:30 p.m. today it will be six years that my Mom died. And like every year, I have been dreading this week. But then I got really busy with work and despite trying not to have anything scheduled all week, things came up that I had to be a part of. So I wasn’t allowed to wallow in my misery, like I always plan on. Instead, I got to spend time with many of the people that I love most, doing things that make me happy. I got to do ‘Can you see what I see’ with Georgie before bed and exhaust our tired eyes trying to find the jumping deer and the girl with the goose; Jack and I got to sit and snuggle and talk like adults and have dinner together!! I got to meet and book with three clients at exciting venues and talk about zombies and cpr and laugh and talk about what I do best and how I just love it! I got to celebrate an amazing spread I shot that was published with my industry friends at the Bee and Thistle Inn and listen to a crazy amazing 14 piece orchestra called String of Pearls and laugh and talk about the joys of Makers Mark and basil martinis; I got to teach a workshop with an eager and positive group of ladies while giving our models Brooke and Jeremy wedding pictures that make them so happy; I spent all of yesterday pampering myself at my favorite salon- Dana Bartone and Company- and got my nails done, my hair re-pinked and bangs trimmed up by my super talented friend Catie Bane and splurged on a facial by Nicole that had me snoozing and feeling so relaxed! We ate sushi, and mostly, we laughed. Then I got tricked into going to Nordstrom and buying fancy flats made of Italian leather that make me want to cuddle them at night…. This morning I am meeting Mike, one of my favorite people and having breakfast and catching up about the wedding we are shooting tomorrow, and undoubtedly we will laugh. Tonight Dave and I get to see many of my college friends from RIT- most of us were all in the same photo 1 class with Dan Larkin and have stayed in touch over the years. I have shot all of their weddings and can’t wait to keep the trend going with Schmartin and Pam this weekend. My Mom knew many of them and knew how much I loved and appreciated their friendships.

The one thing I noticed about this week, is that I am living. I am doing what I love, and spending time with the people that mean the most to me. I know my Mom would be proud to see the life I am leading right now, and above all, anniversary or no, this is what I am going to focus on today. I love you Mom, wherever you are!

XO

 

12 Comments

  • thinking of you today. your mom is MOST definitely proud of the woman, wife, mother and mentor that you have become!

    Reply
  • Love you. I’m glad Makers Mark and Tory Burch made it into this post!!! XOXO.

    Reply
  • thinking of you today and proud of you for what you’re doing and for finding such an organic way (even if by accident) to celebrate life on this occasion 🙂

    Reply
  • Carlos Hernandez Chavez

    Carla, you have become the family’s de facto spokesperson. Your eloquence and insight about OUR family encapsulates our feelings about who your Mom is and always will be, and what she represents. She would be just so proud you represent her so well. This day we all hurt and cry together once again but as you put it, doing the things we all love and being with those who mean everything to us is THE best way to celebrate your Mom’s life.

    Reply
  • Every now and then we talk about our ‘club’… we share a common hole in our hearts for a loved one taken too soon. I take comfort in your blog post & creating some lasting memories that will help ease the discomfort of their absence. There is no doubt your mother would be so proud of all that you accomplished.

    Reply
  • Carlos Hernandez Chavez

    I had forgotten about the club. It feels both unfair and fortunate at the same time to now be one more member. Unfair, because Georgie, Carla and her siblings’ Mom died much too soon; and fortunate because I am now a member forever. My mom just died last July three months short of her 90th. I welcome myself lovingly to the club.

    Reply
  • girl. you are our beacon. sometimes i want to just scream, how is she missing THIS. she would be so proud of him. i have yet to get to a place of reasoning in all this, our boat is rocked…still…for sure. thank you for not throwing this tough stuff away. we all need a friend and place to deal. xo

    Reply

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