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Eyes up, heart open

Carla Ten Eyck

Snow Day Portraits With My Kids

Real talk time! I’ve been struggling with social media these past few years and it’s affect on our perception of what’s actually real in people’s lives. Love it or hate it, the reality is that with my job, I have to partake in it, and for the most part, I actually really enjoy how I choose to. I am honest, I show the good and the bad, I post ridiculous selfies that most people would probably delete, because HELLO THIS IS WHAT I ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE! And, with no sarcasm here, I really do love myself.

I am not trying to pretend that I live a life of all shiny glitter confetti and piping hot lattes and perfect cats that cuddle you on demand. Hey, my cats are assholes who lure us into play and then SCRATCH US or change their mind and slink away. I struggle with getting my butt to the gym (I have not been since November) but am balancing my head and my heart and my time in a way that feels really freaking GOOD. There is no more room for gluten in my life and if you think that’s easy, go away fast because I would trade my right camera finger for an everything bagel from Lox Stock right about now! I haven’t been on a date in a hot minute and am not even trying, not because I am giving up but because I am too busy to care, or feel that void in my life right now! I am really happy with spending time with my kids and their friends, and transforming our home into the place where they all actually enjoy being. I know I am going to blink and my kids are going to be like, grown ups and gone, living their lives without me in their everyday. Shit. Even typing this is making me choke up. Time is a freaking gift, guys. It’s not a promise. ‘Someday’ is not a thing: make it happen NOW. Whatever ‘it’ is. Don’t let that time slip away and regret being fully present with those that you love.

Not everything is perfect in my life, it never was nor will it ever be, but it’s my chaos and hey, if I can’t just learn to just enjoy it and ride the wave of life…? Then what am I even doing. So as I sit down at my desk (that unfortunately? has an amazing view of my wooded backyard) I see that the snow falling looks magical AF. I can’t focus. I can’t cull the wedding I promised myself I would cull today. I just obsess about outside and how I KNOW I can make some magical images with my kids. The catch? I know Georgie will be down to clown, but Jackson is a bit trickier. He loves his downtime. Homeboy can RELAX, and boy does he! Despite this, he is an emotionally available young man and I know will eventually listen to reason, even if he will sass me a bit about having to go outside in the FREEZING COLD, MOM! I lay on the guilt thick, and get quoted back to myself by Jack + GG in the car on the way to Elizabeth Park, which is now a snowy wonderland, ready for me to just have some fun in. ‘One day when you’re older and at college and homesick you’re gonna wish you went with me when I asked you to go make some memories in the park together!’ Both kids just totally rank on me the whole drive there, and I just laugh along, because THE JOKE IS ON THEM! They are all art directed and dressed up and ready to roll for a fun photo shoot with their Mammy! I WIN I WIN! Or so I think.

Peep these pics, of which there are many, and see the reality here. Jack making faces, being annoying + silly (he’s actually just being himself) and totally dogging me out for bringing a LADDER MOM, OMG WHY?? Hello, kid. Have you NOT heard of Vanity Fair and their portrait gorgeousness. You’re lucky I don’t own an Oliphant Backdrop YET, because, I would be dragging that bullshit out, too. Just shush yourselves and sit STILL and lounge on that ladder like I direct you and STOP THROWING SNOWBALLS AT YOUR SISTER.  Georgie, for the love of all that is holy, stop wiping that lipstick on your hand, it’s GONNA STAIN!

I am laughing to myself recounting our afternoon, as I legit had to bribe Jackson with a Baconator from Wendy’s, which was the first thing to get him to smile in the car on the way there! Georgie is pretty much always down, she really enjoys the whole process, but she was snippy with me too, and irritated with Jack and his sour puss. We yelled, but then we always ended up laughing and I WIN. Because hello, Dolly. Can you SEE the images I got?

 

GG’s necklace (really it’s mine): by my love at Aquinnah

 

 

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